Freaking Idiot!

Ever have that moment where you're going along and things seem really good, and then all of a sudden you realize you're an idiot? Yeah, had a few of those moments lately. It's not like things are drastically off track or anything. I'm just having some realizations about how to live life better - more effectively.

Sometimes I can really feel the Lord reaching for me. It's like I'm a little kid learning how to walk, and I feel the gentle guiding touch of the Father's hand on my back. With it comes feelings of love and patience from Him to me. I say I feel like an idiot because I've learned these things before. These are lessons being brought to my remembrance. I get frustrated with my own need for repetition, I suppose.

My thoughts are developing as I write this. I think that we are tested at different levels. It's the line upon line thing . . . the principles we are to learn and gain testimony of remain the same, but we have different experiences throughout our lives (maybe progressively more difficult ones) that help us build upon our knowledge and testimony of those eternal principles. Ok, so here's where this thought process comes full circle. We tend to be pretty hard on ourselves. Why do we do this? I think it may be because with our finite minds, we can't see how the Lord is working with us, and how He is actually moving us forward. We get to this, "I'm such an idiot!" moment and go downhill from there. But, it's really ok because that moment says something about us. It says that we are loved enough to be constantly reminded. We are hearing and feeling the guidance of our Father. This is a moment to be humbly grateful for, not one intended to lead us into depressing thoughts about how unworthy we are, or anything of the like. It is actually when we are becoming aware of how we can be better, and this is meant to move us forward and bring us peace. Yes, we're human. Yes, we forget things . . . a lot. The Lord made us this way for a reason. That, "I'm an idiot!" moment may actually be coming at the end of a stretching period. Depending upon how we choose to see it, it could become the, "Oh I get it now. So this is how that principle works in my life in this situation." moment. Those times are actually when the Lord is trying to progress us. We just have a hard time seeing it sometimes. It's taken me a long time to learn how to see these moments for what they truly are, but it's finally sinking in.

(On a side note: This isn't to say that there aren't also those times when we really are just being stupid, and need to be reprimanded. That's ok too as long as we recognize it for what it is, and move forward. I had a companion on my mission who once said, "Every once in a while, everyone needs a good rebuke." Therein lies wisdom.)